I remember you, always

I remember when we were kids, how cute you were, so short, blonde and full of energy.
How you were friends with everyone. How you got along with all types.
Our neighborhood was different, us kids seemed to build our own family within ourselves.
None of our parents were decent, they were abusive, drunks, or druggies.
You're house seemed to be the safe place, the refuge.
I will never forget those times.
I look back and think what we should have done, and what we really shouldn't have done.
from my little brother and i not being able to be on the same football team together,
to
partying a bit too much. It was all good times, times where we didn't have to worry what was going on in our own homes, times we all could sit back and enjoy life just a little bit.
Our crazy ideas....from Winston and Kenny 4-wheelilng on federal land, to your idea of decent girlfriends!
The time where some stranger just walked in our house when my sister and i were home alone and all you boys came running over to "take" care of him and save the day....I remember that day very well.
We were like family, a large group of brothers and sisters.....just trying to make it from day to day.

We are all grown now, everyone left the old neighborhood, only a few still lurk around.
We are all adults with families of our own, and i don't see my children having the same luxuries in friends as we did when we were growing up. It saddens me. They will never fully understand why you are my adopted brother, or why sometimes when i talk about your dad, i too call him dad.
They will never know what it is like to fully depend on your friends, to always in some way keep track of them over the years, and wonder if there is anything you can do to help.

We were once very close, and loved each other like brothers and sisters......only a few cling on to that now. Its very sad if you think about it. from being so important in someone's life growing up, to not knowing each other at all anymore......it is a bleak and dreary thought.

But i know one thing for sure, I am lucky i have you, I am lucky we found each other again, and i for one love you more than you will ever know, and i am so very proud of the man you became. You will always be my brother.......no matter what happens.

I wish we lived closer, to be able to see each other would be amazing. A simple hug would be nice.

Don't ever think that just because i don't call, or keep in touch on a regular basis, that i don't love you or think about you..........i do. i do very much so. I think of you all the time, and brag about you daily. You are after all, my little brother. I just don't want to bother you and seem like a needy little bitch. lol.

You will never know how much you mean to me. But i do hope you understand that you are very important to me and i remember you, and i love you very much.

I hope sometime soon you can meet my family, and i can meet yours.........My daughter is 15 now....getting letters from colleges, has a boyfriend........and she has yet to meet her uncle J.J......i think that is long enough for you to be a ghost.......and we have got to start to make something happen to be able to get together soon. 

Don't ever think you are alone......you aren't. Not in the slightest.

keep in touch little brother, because you my dear, stole my heart long ago, and i'm not letting go now......no matter how much your little short ass kicks and screams.

take care,

i love you...

your crazy sister,

ivy cook