as i was driving to this mansion, listening to the GPS and the kids play..fight...what ever you want to call it! lol.....i realized that this was going to be the first wedding i've gone to without my husband. Kenny and i usually do everything together....most of the time, i'm not complete unless he is next to me! i just feel lost!
but, we pulled up to this beautiful small little mansion, and it was very stunning. it really belongs on acres of manicured land, but its a historical site, so its unfortunately stuck where it lies. but we go inside, and kathy meets the kids at the bottom of the stairs, and directs us to the bridal quarters. (we were a few hours early! i know shocking huh? lol) we chat with mom for a bit, and i decided that it really wasn't the place for Allen, he may be a boy, but i don't need him to be watching girls dress and undress and fix their "war paint" and what not! so we head upstairs to the main part of the building, and meet Greg, who was surprisingly nice to me! (Jennifer wasn't there! lol) i see Kenny who was a total nervous wreck, he couldn't sit still, always moving, always mumbling to himself......it was so cute. so Greg and i go out for a smoke, and he shows me pics of Jennifer's granddaughter, i know, i really didn't care, but i was being nice and letting him show off this baby that a child had given birth to, with a smile on my face even!
we let the kids play around, and for about an hour we just kinda all hung out and enjoyed each others company. bouncing from Kenny to Greg while letting the kids roam around to explore such a pretty place!
and then, my knights in shinning shoes, and curly hair showed up from okc.....oh thank god..........i feel so at home with my Oklahoma city family, they actually let me be myself and don't mind who i am! and yes, i was wearing my brown shorts and a nice top....but they had brought this beautiful black and white dress down for me to wear, and it was so pretty i actually wanted to wear it! lol.......i know odd huh? so i just changed right there in the parking lot! lol.......yup, I'll admit it.......I'm a hillbilly from Turley! lol
when i am with my okc family, i just have fun and enjoy myself and never worry about time or anything, so the next thing i realize, is i'm out front with Darla, smoking, and my grandpa comes up behind me......i usually always try and respect him and not smoke in front of him.......Darla laughed at me, and i visited with my grandparents a bit, and took a pic of them in front of a flower bed.
anyway, soon, the wedding kinda begins, well, it was supposed to start at 7, so we were all seated and waiting, i was bouncing between my "family" and my grandparents, trying to conceal by cleavage sticking out of my dress! and yes, Donna, and Darla, got quite the kick out of that! lol....
and the wedding party finally started showing up, ahhh, finally! lol....mom asked me to get her comfy shoes cause she was tired of the ones she was wearing......so.....i rush downstairs and see her tennis shoes.........to me....comfy shoes are tennis shoes! so i grabbed them, ran back upstairs, ignored the fact that the wedding party was all lined up to enter the room and begin the ceremony, and rushed over to mom......she was horrified...."not those! the black ones!" ummm okay mom where are those? she rolled her eyes a bit, and tells me nevermind and to get out of the way.......huh??? and i look behind me and they are all waiting for me to get out of the way! oh duh! lol...so i back off to the side, and wait for them to do their little walk down the isle, and as soon as the bride walks down the isle, i rush back downstairs and grab the right shoes, (i mean really, how many shoes do you need at a wedding? lol) i rush back upstairs and lay them in front of mom, who is the photographer so she is standing and taking pics, and she slides them on and i strap them on her feet, yup, on my knees in a dress! lol....so not to get in her way of taking photos i crawl over to my seat! lol......
they say "i do" and kiss, and off to lord knows where! mom rushes me and the kids into the kitchen, where she tells me to go get one of the boys........so i go get Greg and he tells me it will be a minute, "okay, mom, what do you need" i guess she thought since i was in a dress i wouldn't want to pick up heavy stuff and arrange it out of the way and crap.........come on.........i just crawled on my knees to my chair in a dress.........why not life heavy things too? i'm not your typical girl........so i did that, and had the kids set up the food, and blah blah blah.......
my kids were the first ones to grab a plate and eat.....yup, that's my kids! if you say food, you better make them a clear path! lol. my grandparents sat by the kids and kept them company which was nice. and i stood and snacked a bit....
it was a nice wedding. i loved spending time with my grandparents, and my okc family! and even Greg and i got along great, though i think Kathy had a stoke noticing we didn't fight! lol...
Kenny (my husband) made it to the reception after he was done with class, which he tells me as he walked in the door, he didn't know anyone, looked around, saw my aunt darla, and headed strait for her.....and really enjoyed the short time he got to spend with omar. kenny just loves my uncle omar!
we had to leave around 10pm because it was a school night being a Monday......but maria told me to keep her dress, which was nice, now i have a dress to wear when i need it! and it is really pretty! i love it.
and my mom was just stunning! her dress was beautiful and she looked so happy! i even got some pics of her admiring her son! they are really cool pics. you could tell she was just beaming with pride and joy!
it was great seeing a lot of people i hadn't seen in forever, and seen how much they've grown up!
all in all....kenny had a very nice cute little wedding!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
wish i was at the lake
yup.........the lake sounds pretty good..........fishing, sitting by a campfire at night.......smores, roasted marshmallows, and hot dogs........and cuddling up next to kenny at night!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
i really don't know
I'm sitting here at home.......the cats getting upset with me because they haven't been fed their dinner yet. kenny is on xbox live with mike. the kids are at my mothers house.
i haven't been very much interested in anything lately. a few months ago my best friend nannette passed away suddenly. i wasn't ready for it. i was going to go see her and spend time with her the next day when i found out she passed away from an aneurysm. still to this day, i can't believe she is gone.......i still find myself trying to call her......trying to go over to visit her. i still cry when i think of her. i will never be able to hug her, to laugh with her, to enjoy her stories, to roll my eyes at her when she spoils my kids and points at me and tells me to hush, it's her house and "those babies need that".....i still find myself cooking a big enough meal just so i can take some food to her. i still watch over her house thinking that maybe she will come outside one day to check her mail. or call me at 3:00 in the morning! or even to call me to tell me dozer had come to visit her that day. i'll never hear her tell someone on the phone that "oh, ivy is here, and we are just sitting around gossiping about people who aren't here to defend themselves." i miss how she always hated her hair long, and complained when she didn't have it permed. or how much she misses her brother buck. or keep me posted about how her family is doing. and what hurts most of all, is that this was the year, i decided to put the kids in a closer school, so i could spend more time with my dear friend, and we were gonna have coffee in the mornings and do laundry together, and watch tv together or listen to old time country music and tell stories on why that song was important to us. or the current news. never again will i have that. and i don't think i will ever have such a great friend like that again.
at times, it seemed like she was the only person who could understand me, and knew what i was going through. she had so many stories..........and i find myself gaining more and more stories that i would usually share with her..........that i just keep bottled up inside of me. who am i gonna share them with now? who is gonna laugh at me when i admit to doing something totally stupid. who is gonna be there for me now? she is gone..........she left without a goodbye, i love you.......nothing. i always told her i loved her and i would see her again very soon..........but that didn't happen. i didn't get to say goodbye. i didn't get to tell her how important she was to me...........i didn't get to tell her that she was one of the most important people in my life, and that without her.........i'm lost.
i can't believe she is gone..........i know she is happy where she is......i know she is chasing those boys around, and dancing and having a blast again............i know she is safe and well taken care of. but i am here, and i'm hurting every day she is gone.......i am lost. i am empty and sad.....i'm not in pain because she passed away i am in pain because i lost someone so special and beautiful so quickly that i don't know what to do. i don't know where to go, i don't know how to carry on.
i know i have kenny.........and he is a wonderful and brilliant man who takes care of me beyond belief.......and i have my three darling children who i swear are gonna make me crazy one day! lol.......and my family life is beyond beautiful and perfect.......i love my husband and my children very much......but loosing nannette was like loosing a big part of me. i feel like half of me is dead.........and i can't get it back.
she was the one that was always there for me when i needed her. she was like my mother and grandmother and best friend and sister all rolled into one. i've never been that close to anyone before. she was the only one who accepted me for me......and didn't care what i did.....she knew that everyone has to live their own lives, and she knew that life is a journey and you learn from your twists and turns, and from that came great experiences and stories. she was perfect.
i will never forget her. i will always miss her. i will always love her.
i just want to know when does the pain stop? when can i think about her and not cry? when can i look at her house and not see her waving at me?
for those of you who never met her.............you will never understand........you missed out on the most wonderful woman ever lived. for those of you that i took over there to meet her, you know how important she is to me........she loved everyone. always worried about everyone. she even worried about my mom and brothers and sisters, whom she never met.
nannette............i love you. and miss you. you should see the kids now..........they are getting so big, and growing up so fast. though i don't know if allen is gonna make it to be a teenager, he doesn't have you here to protect him.......he sure likes to try my patience! lol. and kenny misses you as well. he was so honored to be your paul bearer, he cried for almost two hours when he found out. and he says that he is sorry he didn't come over more so you could stare at his butt! lol.......he loved you very much too.
what am i going to do without you??? i'm so lost and always so sad. it has been so long........so very long that i have actually smiled and felt it inside my heart. i put on a big front.......but, my heart just isn't in it anymore. girl, i've been through a lot........so many horrible and tragic things have happened in my life, and i always managed to survive and find the light at the end..........but damn it, you nannette rose wilson........you found a way to break me.........and i love you for that..........but i am getting weary......and sometimes, especially now, i just want to stop crying and be joyous because you are in such a beautiful place right now, i should be happy because you are with our lord who can take care of you more than anyone can imagine........but i just can't find that light just yet......i can't find my way...............
i love you..........
i haven't been very much interested in anything lately. a few months ago my best friend nannette passed away suddenly. i wasn't ready for it. i was going to go see her and spend time with her the next day when i found out she passed away from an aneurysm. still to this day, i can't believe she is gone.......i still find myself trying to call her......trying to go over to visit her. i still cry when i think of her. i will never be able to hug her, to laugh with her, to enjoy her stories, to roll my eyes at her when she spoils my kids and points at me and tells me to hush, it's her house and "those babies need that".....i still find myself cooking a big enough meal just so i can take some food to her. i still watch over her house thinking that maybe she will come outside one day to check her mail. or call me at 3:00 in the morning! or even to call me to tell me dozer had come to visit her that day. i'll never hear her tell someone on the phone that "oh, ivy is here, and we are just sitting around gossiping about people who aren't here to defend themselves." i miss how she always hated her hair long, and complained when she didn't have it permed. or how much she misses her brother buck. or keep me posted about how her family is doing. and what hurts most of all, is that this was the year, i decided to put the kids in a closer school, so i could spend more time with my dear friend, and we were gonna have coffee in the mornings and do laundry together, and watch tv together or listen to old time country music and tell stories on why that song was important to us. or the current news. never again will i have that. and i don't think i will ever have such a great friend like that again.
at times, it seemed like she was the only person who could understand me, and knew what i was going through. she had so many stories..........and i find myself gaining more and more stories that i would usually share with her..........that i just keep bottled up inside of me. who am i gonna share them with now? who is gonna laugh at me when i admit to doing something totally stupid. who is gonna be there for me now? she is gone..........she left without a goodbye, i love you.......nothing. i always told her i loved her and i would see her again very soon..........but that didn't happen. i didn't get to say goodbye. i didn't get to tell her how important she was to me...........i didn't get to tell her that she was one of the most important people in my life, and that without her.........i'm lost.
i can't believe she is gone..........i know she is happy where she is......i know she is chasing those boys around, and dancing and having a blast again............i know she is safe and well taken care of. but i am here, and i'm hurting every day she is gone.......i am lost. i am empty and sad.....i'm not in pain because she passed away i am in pain because i lost someone so special and beautiful so quickly that i don't know what to do. i don't know where to go, i don't know how to carry on.
i know i have kenny.........and he is a wonderful and brilliant man who takes care of me beyond belief.......and i have my three darling children who i swear are gonna make me crazy one day! lol.......and my family life is beyond beautiful and perfect.......i love my husband and my children very much......but loosing nannette was like loosing a big part of me. i feel like half of me is dead.........and i can't get it back.
she was the one that was always there for me when i needed her. she was like my mother and grandmother and best friend and sister all rolled into one. i've never been that close to anyone before. she was the only one who accepted me for me......and didn't care what i did.....she knew that everyone has to live their own lives, and she knew that life is a journey and you learn from your twists and turns, and from that came great experiences and stories. she was perfect.
i will never forget her. i will always miss her. i will always love her.
i just want to know when does the pain stop? when can i think about her and not cry? when can i look at her house and not see her waving at me?
for those of you who never met her.............you will never understand........you missed out on the most wonderful woman ever lived. for those of you that i took over there to meet her, you know how important she is to me........she loved everyone. always worried about everyone. she even worried about my mom and brothers and sisters, whom she never met.
nannette............i love you. and miss you. you should see the kids now..........they are getting so big, and growing up so fast. though i don't know if allen is gonna make it to be a teenager, he doesn't have you here to protect him.......he sure likes to try my patience! lol. and kenny misses you as well. he was so honored to be your paul bearer, he cried for almost two hours when he found out. and he says that he is sorry he didn't come over more so you could stare at his butt! lol.......he loved you very much too.
what am i going to do without you??? i'm so lost and always so sad. it has been so long........so very long that i have actually smiled and felt it inside my heart. i put on a big front.......but, my heart just isn't in it anymore. girl, i've been through a lot........so many horrible and tragic things have happened in my life, and i always managed to survive and find the light at the end..........but damn it, you nannette rose wilson........you found a way to break me.........and i love you for that..........but i am getting weary......and sometimes, especially now, i just want to stop crying and be joyous because you are in such a beautiful place right now, i should be happy because you are with our lord who can take care of you more than anyone can imagine........but i just can't find that light just yet......i can't find my way...............
i love you..........
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